We love our customers. From mom and pop stores to multinationals, most of them run solid businesses and behave pretty well. But when you have hundreds of customers and thousands of transactions in the cannabis industry over many years, you see some crazy things. This list contains crazy things that spring to mind in Oregon. This is just for fun.
There was the guy who walked off in front of the camera with a whole bunch of company plants. Also the brave woman who opened an unlicensed marijuana store on a busy street (and was politely closed by Portland police). The same woman who wanted to sue OLCC for failing to license them even though she hadn’t applied. The amazing customers who didn’t know who owned the LLC organized and managed both of them. The opponent who declared tax fraud to an arbitrator and said, “Everyone is doing it. Well, maybe not Mother Theresa! But you know ¯ _ (ツ) _ / ¯ ”. (He lost.) The seedy brothers who wanted a lot of money to license a Wu-Tang member’s IP even though they had no verifiable connection to that member. The corrupt CPA forged the signatures of his client, a famous actress, to invest her money in a cannabis business. The geniuses who built these terrible business structures. The gentleman who closed down a $ 2 million property made a monthly payment and just … disappeared. We genuinely disappointed the customer because we don’t have a ruler in the office. That $ 2 million buyer who reappeared a year later to “get the property back” and then immediately disappeared (forever?). Virtually every CBD broker I have come across, and especially those who turned up as PSA brokers in our law firm’s China practice later in the early days of COVID. The friendly people who have sold “shares” in their non-profit organization. The horrible person who took LLC investment funds from our clients, bought land on his own behalf, drove cannabis to Nevada, and chased our clients off property with a gun. The lawyer who sued us for “conspiracy” because our client allegedly intruded somewhere and then never served the lawsuit. The lawyers who told people not to file tax returns due to the 5th Amendment. The customer gutted by a crazy person crouched on his landlord’s property (that was horrible; he survived). The customer who reluctantly evicted his tenant after the FBI arrested this tenant who was driving across the country on many types of drugs. The very thoughtful customers who fired us but promised to also set up a university hemp research center on behalf of Harris Bricken after they won their lawsuit. The customer who had won a hefty six-figure bill, but wanted to leave it here indefinitely and swing now and then to run around for money (apparently forever). The guy who asked an OLCC inspector what he could do “to fix this little problem”. Finally, the customers who were playing that song on giant speakers when an OLCC investigator came to their property. We kind of lost sight of her.